My father - Dreams unfulfilled

How many people have dreams and ambitions that will never be realized? I believe countless millions. I ask myself how many did I have? Maybe just two or three? Not very important to anyone else but the direction you take can shape the rest of your life.

Maybe I was not strong enough and didn’t have what it took to make dreams come true. Now I will never know. At the age of seventy, other things are more important. I guess a lot depends on your background and family situations.

Many do make the breakthrough regardless of all the obstacles and setbacks. When you come from a working class background with poor parents in a poor suburb, even with lots of love, it’s not easy.

I will continue on about my dreams at a later time because a more important person than me never had a chance to fulfil his dreams - my very much loved father, David Norman D_____.

He could sing from the heart with a voice so natural and rich that he could leave many famous singers floundering. But what chance did he have? The third youngest of four boys and a sister, struggling through the great depression like all the other families at that time.

When you are the only one working in a family of six at the age of fourteen, with a very sick father and not much education past the age of twelve, working three jobs - one before school selling papers, one after school working for the milkman and weekends working as a cockatoo for the SP bookies helping, to keep a family together.

Did he have a chance?

I am his daughter, Joan. I have heard him sing since I can remember him - which is a long time, because he was only seventeen when he married my mother, Doris, and I was born.

He never had a lesson but he worked at the old Tivoli Theatre which was located in the railway area of Sydney. He, with his three brothers, were selling Peter’s ice cream at Interval.
Maybe he listened and learnt from the many artists that appeared there. Artists like Gladys Moncrief, George Wallis Sr, George Formby, Tommy Trinder and too many others to name. He used to tell me about them all.

Mum used to take me there to see the shows and pantomimes. I used to wave to dad over the balcony.

We always sat in the gods at the Tivoli because it was the cheapest. To get up there, there must have been at least 100 steps. I used to say to mum, “we are going to heaven!” We only went at Christmas to the pantomime. I would have liked to have sat down the front as they used to throw out lollies and we never got any because they wouldn’t reach us way up there.

As I think about the Tivoli it has come back to me that my mother told me that her grandmother was the flower-seller outside of a nighttime and she was run over by a horse and cart and killed. I must try and find out more but I can’t ask mum as she is not with me any more.

Dot and Dave

Mum was a Balmain girl who worked at Lanham’s laundry at Rushcutters Bay. It was here she met my dad, David, who was from Paddington. They fell in love and married. David was only seventeen. I was born in July 1937 and he turned eighteen in the following September.
This was a love affair that lasted for fifty-three years. They died within three months of each other.


We lived in the upstairs of a terrace house in Womerah Avenue, Darlinghurst. It was a very seedy area. My father told me he saw a person kicked to death one night, but no one got involved in those days, especially in that area.


All I remember about that time of my life is a friend called Diana, a swing that I had hanging in a doorway and a dinky to ride on.


We soon made the big move to Balmain. Mum was back and I was the new Balmain girl. We lived in a little house in Phillip street and dad started work at Colgate Palmolive, where he was to stay for the rest of his working life.We only stayed there for three years as my sister Eileen was born and we needed a larger house.


This house was at number __ Rowntree Street, Balmain. It was a two storey terrace semi. Mum and dad lived there for the rest of their lives.


We rented for many years. When I was 18, we had a chance to pay it off. My dad said he could not afford it so we all helped to pay off the mortgage. It cost a full 1000 pounds. Thirty-two years later we sold it for $210,000 dollars.


It was a great house with a verandah and a balcony upstairs, and a good view of the Sydney Harbour and The Bridge. There was a large empty block of land across the road where we could play. It had trees to climb, a mulberry tree, a blackberry bush and chokos we could pick.


It was a great place until it was sold and two houses were built on it. We only had a small back yard with a lane running up the side to other houses at the back. We always managed to have a good time making gardens, mini golf courses and building cubby houses.

Life in the new house

Kids at that time had to make there own fun as we didn’t have many toys. The toilet was right up in the far corner of the yard with none in the house. In the winter it was very cold and sometimes very scary.
We would nearly always go with each other. I had to take the little kids. Our bathroom was also out in the yard. It was not very nice. It had a dirt floor with a very large cement bath that looked like a horse trough in the corner. There was a copper. Mum had to make a fire under the copper to boil water to do the washing and get water for our bath.
She had to fill the bath with a bucket and it always got cold very fast. Mum had had another two kids in the years after we’d moved to Balmain, a son, Norman, and another daughter, Gwen. Mum used to put us three girls in the bath together and Norman was put in after us.
In the winter we had our bath in a big tin tub in the kitchen. We didn’t always have money to buy wood for the copper. It was always fun in the tub and good to have a big pot of hot water poured over to finish off on very cold nights.
We had an open fire in the fire place in the dining room, which was our living room and only room other than our hall and bedrooms. So after a tub bath we would wrap up in a towel and dry off by the fire. It was wonderful and cozy.
Living at number 48 was very good. My grandparents lived down the street at number 101. Mum’s mother, Minnie, and father, William Watt - pop to us kids.He was a fun man, tall with white hair, and he taught me all about football as foot ball was a big part of the Watt family life.
Mum had three sisters and four brothers. I must tell a little about the boys. George Watt played for Balmain and then for Australia. The youngest boy, Neville played for Balmain too. They were both hookers.
Pop used to take me down to Birchgrove Oval in my football jumper and teach me how to play the ball and tackle. He always said grab them around the ankles - they can't run without legs - and all this to a 4-year-old girl.
I was the first-born grandchild. I think he would have liked me to have been a boy but I loved him very much. He also sang great old songs to me as he bounced me on his knee.
He was a good husband to my grandmother. He used to do all the washing for her and I never saw her do any work. She was always off to town. I don’t know what for.
Pop worked at Morts Dock for as long as I remember. When he got too old he still worked there as a cleaner. He died there on the job. when they used to drain the dock he would catch lots of fish and mussels and we would have a feast.
They moved from 101 to 123, just down the street, and stayed there until they died. One of my mums brothers’, Jacky, and his wife and children, lived at number 125 next door. Lily, one of mums sisters’, lived not far away in King Street.
We had lots of other cousins all over Balmain. The Watts family in Short Street was very close to us, Aunty Lilly and Uncle Archie, and all the girls and Alan. Aunty Lilly did a lot for my mum when she was a girl - made all her clothes for dancing classes. Aunty Lilly and Grandma Minnie were step sisters. That is a story on its own but I will come back to it later.

All was well at number 48. The war was full on and then dad joined the Navy. It was January the eighteenth, 1943 and I was five. My sister, Eileen, was two. Dad went away on a train at Central Railway and we went to see him off. I remember waving to him and mum crying.

Everyone on the station seemed to be crying. It was so sad and I can still remember it today. When dad finished training he went onto the HMAS Kanimbla, a troop ship and off he went to war.

There is more to this story.

And so to school

It is now time to start school. Birchgrove Public School is just around the corner in Birchgrove Road. I just have to walk up the street to Macquarie Terrace and there is the school, a very large brick and stone building.

It is in a great position looking over the Parramatta River. I am in kindergarten and my teachers name is Miss Thompson. I love school so far. I am making lots of friends. We sit on mats and learn to count using milk bottle tops. We sing lots of songs, play games and learn to write our numbers on slate boards with slate pencils.

We all take our play lunch and lunch wrapped in greaseproof paper and in a brown paper bag. All of us kids get a free bottle of milk every day. That’s good in the winter but in the summer it sits left in the sun and starts to go off. A lot of the kids in my class also have their father away at the war so we say a prayer every day to keep them safe.

My mother gets letters from dad when he gets a chance to send them. She waits for the postman every day and waits until i get home from school and reads them to my sister, Eileen, and me. She sits on the stairs and we sit at her feet.

We are happy that he is alright but mum always cries because we all miss him so much. We miss him singing as that always made us happy.

Being on a troop ship he did get home on leave and on two of those occasions mum fell pregnant, and so by the end of the war we had two more babies - brother Norman and my baby sister, Gwen.

There is only ten months between the two of them so mum had her hands full. My grandma down the street was a help and my mother’s youngest brother, Neville and youngest sister, Ruby, helped out.

When Gwen was to be born it was a bit much to expect any one to take on three little kids to mind. So one morning when we woke up, mum had gone to the hospital and my grandmother packed our bags, and with the help of Ruby, took us three kids to a home where we had to stay while mum was in hospital.

The home was called Scarborough Home. It was a home for orphans and poor kids in similar circumstances like us. We had to get there by tram as we had no cars. We went to Central Railway first and then had to change trams to get to Bondi. It was quite an ordeal with two little kids and a ten month old baby.

Because I was six, I went into the big kids section and Eileen and baby Norman went into another part. I was very sad and lonely. We had never been apart before and I missed mum very much.

I slept in a dormitory with other girls and the food was terrible. I do remember having raw sugar on thick porridge and no butter. Because of the war lots of things were rationed. I did get into trouble once for wandering off to a restricted area because I saw some swings there. They had to have a search for me and I was punished with no dinner.

One night I was very unhappy so I was wrapped in a blanket and taken over to the baby section to see Eileen and Norman. After that I was taken over every other night just to see them so that I knew I was not alone. It must have been very sad for the children who had no one there and no one to come for them.

When mum came home from hospital it was time to get on with our life. We were very busy with two babies in the house and I think I had to grow up very fast and learn to look after myself in a lot of things. Without dad there to help we were a house of women. I became very bossy and always took charge with the little ones.

Eileen and I were very close. As we grew up we all became very much together - all Balmain kids sticking up for each other whether right or wrong.

In second class during the war all of us children had to wear air raid bags made of calico all the time while we were at school. In them were ear muffs to protect us from noise in case of bombs and a peg to bite on. We had a drill where we all had to assemble in the hall and then march down to the basement of the school. Thank God we never had to use them.

We did get a very big fright towards the end of the war. There were a series of large explosions that shook the whole school. We all were told to get under our desks until we found out what had happened - so much for all our drill.

Next door to the school was the Balmain Coal Mine, one of Sydney’s oldest mines. At first the rumour was that a war mine had floated up the Parramatta River and exploded. It turned out to be a gas explosion and men were injured and killed. The school was closed for a few days until it was declared safe. This happened in1945 when the mine was closed for good. It stood there for many years unused and boarded up until it was sold to a developer. Now in 2006 it is home for many families. I wonder if they all know they are sitting on a coal mine. I know I would not like to live there but it is a lovely position right there on the water front.

Dad came home in July 1946 when I was eight. He came into Garden Island on the ship loaded with soldiers all over the deck. It was a wonderful sight. The war was over at last. We all went down to see it dock.

At first we could not see dad but he was waving out of a port hole, and we saw him, and started to wave and call him. He saw us but we knew he could not get off until the next day as all the soldiers had to go first. But we were all happy and went home to plan a big welcome home party.
It was not as happy for a lot of others who were still waiting for news of their loved ones. All our relations and friends returned except one. That was the boy’s father who lived next door. He was in a prison in Singapore and they got news that he didn’t make it after waiting for months for news.

The boy’s name was Brian and he was in my class at school. He was only eight so he never even got to know his father. His grandmother lived next door so she was very brocket when they received the news, as was his wife.

I always thought of Brian as my first boyfriend. He was the first boy to kiss me when I was seven. I wonder where he is now. They moved away when he was about 15.

As life resumed back to almost normal, us Balmain kids did what most kids did - had fun. Because most of our families didn’t have much money, we had to make our own fun. We played games in the street with other kids that lived around us.

There were hardly any cars to worry about and the trams that ran up and down our street only ran every half hour, so we would play rounders or cricket in the middle of the road. It’s hard to believe that happening in the Balmain of today.

In hospital

After Dad came home from the war and we all soon got into living a normal life again. That was in July 1946 and I was about to turn nine. I was in third class and that was the year I had my appendix out.

I took an attack of unbearable pain. Miss Rose was my teacher. She was a large lady who used to sit at her desk and we all used to laugh because we could see her big bloomers. One day when we were marching into school the elastic in her bloomers broke and they fell down. She just stepped out of them and put them in her bag. We all got into trouble for laughing and were kept in after school.

Getting back to my appendix attack, the pain was so bad I couldn’t walk. Two older girls were picked out to carry me home. Just as well I was a very small girl as we had to go about 500 metres. Luckily as we were just rounding the corner, my mum was just there with my grandmother. They were heading off to town for the day. Mum took me straight to the doctors and without even going home I was put into Balmain Hospital. I was operated on that afternoon. The doctor said I could have died if we had been any later in getting there.

Balmain Hospital was a beautiful hospital then, not a bit like it is now. The children’s ward was beautiful as all the walls had been decorated by Pixie O’Harris with lovely murals all around. Many years later I had my two children there.

I had also had my tonsils out at the Children’s Hospital at Camperdown in Sydney the year before.

My other hospital outing was at the Coast Hospital at Little Bay. It was later known as The Prince Henry Hospital and because of its beautiful position is now being sold as a new housing development.

Back then the Coast Hospital was the place you were put when you were contagious. I think I was about eight when I was there. I was taken in an ambulance as I had scarlet fever. It was very catchy so I had to be isolated from the other kids. Mum put two chairs together to make me a bed in the front room until the ambulance arrived.

I was carried out of the house and all the neighbours were there to wish me well. I was very lonely in the hospital as mum and dad could only come on Sundays for a visit. It took about two hours to get there - first a tram to Central Railway then another to Little Bay - and they always brought the other children with them. Once there they could only look at me through a glass screen.

I had to stay there for six weeks. The nurses were very nice dressed in there stiff white aprons and veils. Once the red rash and the fever had gone I was not so sick so I just played and did some schoolwork, read books and sang songs.

Nurses and doctors came from all over the hospital just to hear me sing. It made me feel very special. I told them my dad taught me to sing and I knew lots of songs as he and I sang at home all the time. The song they liked me to sing was The Sandman Is Coming.

Winters at the oval

Everyone in Balmain followed a football team, well everyone I knew. When I was young, say from about eight onwards, every Sunday (in the winter that is) from around 1pm the crowds would start the trek down to the Birchgrove oval. The trams would go past our house in Rowntree Street full of people hanging from the sides.

The trams all terminated at the water where the oval was. The people came from all around the area; suburbs like Glebe, Annandale, Drummoyne, Rozelle and Leichhardt. We all had our special teams to follow. Teams like Shamrocks old boys Glebe, Kodocks Gladesville and the Olympics. These were all junior teams playing in the President’s cup division.

Besides all the tramloads of people, people all walked for miles. Hundreds of them strolled past our house carrying blankets, cushions, bags of food and nibblies, and most times an umbrella as we would go rain or shine.

Our little band of kids never went with the adults, as we didn’t pay to get in. We knew where all the loose palings were in the fence and that’s how we got in. It was always a great time. We didn’t spend a lot of time watching the football; we were out to make money. It was a well thought plan we had.

First we had to walk around to see the groups of people that were eating and drinking, and then we would split up and sit next to them. When they were nearly finished drinking we would ask if we could have the empty bottles. Each one we got was worth tuppence.

Bronte

In the summer all over Sydney, not just in Balmain, it was time for the beach. And what a time it was. We had more beaches to pick from than any other city in the world.

Bondi was the most famous to people overseas but to us Sydneysiders we all had our favourites and we flocked to them in the thousands.

There was Coogee, Maroubra, Clovelly, Manly, Cronulla, and lots of other smaller ones in between, not forgetting the northern beaches like Whale Beach, Mona Vale and Palm Beach. The northern beaches were more for the silvertails and they were much harder to get to unless you had a car or lived in the area.

Everyone of the beaches had a surf club and it was very cool to to be in the clique with the surfer boys. I must say we could not have got on without them as they must have saved thousands of lives over many years. We Sydneysiders, who were beach goers, knew how dangerous it could be with rips, sandbars and dumpers, not to mention the shark danger.

I haven’t yet mentioned our all favourite beach. It was Bronte. Our family went to Bronte beach every Sunday. Rain, hail or shine we would meet up with four other families who lived in the Bondi area. They were all old friends from dad’s days when he lived in Paddington and worked at the laundry. We remained friends with these families all of mum and dad’s life.

There were the Brown’s - dad’s best mate, Les, his wife, Ruby (who I thought was very glamorous), and their only son Raymond. There was also the Samuel’s and the Shafer’s and all their children.We had great times.

To start with my sister, Eileen, and I would leave home loaded up with towels and the bits at 6.30am. We’d catch the tram outside of our house, get to Central Railway and then change trams to the Bronte tram. The trip took about one hour.

The reason for this early morning trek was to get our position at the beach. We always had the same “cubby houses” which were covered tables and chairs in groups of four. Eileen and I would get there before everyone else and put a towel or bag on each table. That would reserve them for our group for the day.

Mum and dad would arrive about an hour later with all the food and the younger kids, Norman and Gen. Al the other families would start to arrive about the same time. Our “possie” was up on the big hill overlooking the surf. We had great times. All of us kids learnt to swim and surf in what was, and still is, called the Bogie Hole. It is a very large rock pool at the southern end of the beach.

We all loved the water and dad would put us up on his shoulders and let us dive in the water. It was crystal clear and we could swim under water with our eyes open.

After lunch we would all join in a game of cricket, rounders or shuttle cock. The sand hills at Bronte were a big attraction for us young kids. They were up the back of the park where there were swings and slippery dips. The sandhills were great fun as they were very big, or they seemed to be to us kids. We used to play hidings in the shrubs and climb through tunnels and spy on the teenage lovers in the bush. We weren’t supposed to go up there but kids will be kids.
At three o’clock the Sunday school would start. The people from the church who ran it would ring a bell and kids would run from everywhere for the half hour service. They would tell us a story, ask us some questions, sing Jesus songs and then we would all get a little text about the story.

After all that had finished it would be all back in the water for another swim. The adults would play cards while all this was going on.

As the years went on I always swam in the big surf and was quite a good body surfer, thanks to dad’s good teaching, but I did like to hire a rubber surf board and ride the waves. It would cost one shilling for half an hour. It was a real treat and I would try and find empty bottles to cash in to raise the money.

We would arrive home about 7pm all tired and most times sunburnt. Mum would dab us all over with cold tea to take away the hurt. We were all very brown as we had a mixture of vinegar and coconut oil that we would put at the beach - this is something we would never do today.

They were great days.